Monday, 19 November 2018

No Bo Jo!

Today’s papers reveal that Boris Johnson has joined the so-called Pizza Gang (all thin crust and not much on top) of five in Mrs May’s Cabinet who are busy trying to undermine her Brexit deal.
Now, let me be clear. I don’t have much time for Mrs May’s deal either, but I wouldn’t have started negotiations in the same way or from the same position as she did. I’m reminded of the story of the driver who stopped to ask a pedestrian for directions to his destination only to be met by the response “Well, if I were going there, I wouldn’t start from here.”
But, I’m also clear that anyone who thinks that Bo Jo is the answer – to anything, let alone on our way to leave the EU and build a new future beyond – seriously needs their head examining.
Consider the following…
First, Boris Johnson’s brother Jo was a government minister until 10 days ago when he resigned because the UK is "barrelling towards an incoherent Brexit". In numerous media interviews, he described the promises of the Brexiteers (led by his brother Bo Jo) - £50m extra a day for the NHS, a quick exit from the EU and signing new trade deals – as a completely ‘false prospectus’. In non-Etonian language, he meant ‘complete bullsxxt’ and ‘a tissue of lies’.
Second, having had more than two years to have prepared and published his own proposals for Brexit, Bo Jo has now outlined his own proposals – a ‘Super Canada’ style trade deal, a scrapping of the Irish back-stop, and a refusal to pay the divorce bill. This is all well and fine, but a work of fiction, as the leaders of all the major EU countries have already said that they would never agree to such a proposal. It’s a non-runner. It’s dead in the water. If only, instead of spouting populist nonsense, Bo Jo spent his time watching Strictly Come Dancing, he’d realise that it takes two to tango.
Thirdly, we now know what actually happens when Bo Jo actually does have some power.
As Mayor of London, and against clear advice, Bo Jo bought three unusable water-cannon for the Metropolitan Police from Germany, without checking whether they could be used on London’s streets. It didn’t require magic to turn these into three white elephants. These vehicles have cost £323,000 to buy and modify. They have never seen a day’s service. Last week, they were sold for just £11,025 to Reclamations Ollerton, a scrap metal yard in Newark, Nottinghamshire.
Of course, this complete failure of judgement and waste of money pales in to insignificance compared to the London Garden Bridge which Bo Jo championed. Five years later, and with nearly £50 million of public money spent, it has come to nothing. As The Independent commented “In its spectacular unravelling, the bridge now offers us a masterclass in how not to achieve a goal.”
I wouldn’t let Bo Jo be the fifth choice of clown at a children’s party. I fail to understand why anyone might think he has anything to contribute to getting us out of the Brexit shambles we are now in.
So, No Bo Jo.